Some people are born to run...they've got chicken legs, a fast metabolism, and no body fat. Some people are born to run to the front of the line at the Pizza Hut buffet...tree trunk legs, a lazy metabolism, and Homer Simpson's upper body do not a runner make. I'm pretty sure I fall into the category of the latter, but my sister had the idea for her, my dad, and me to sign up for the Weather Channel Half Marathon in Atlanta on Thanksgiving Day...and being one for crazy ideas/overzealous goals, I decided to give it a shot. The race started at 7:00AM...and if you know me, you know I'm not a morning person, so getting going that early was going to be a challenge in itself, so I decided that while I was running, I'd make mental notes as I ran and do my best shot at a running diary....so here we go!
5:00 AM: Wake up feeling sorta cocky
5:30: Eat 2 bagels and drink coffee
5:35: Read that eating a breakfast high in fiber the morning of the a half marathon is a bad idea...
6:00: Understand why it's a bad idea
6:30: Get dropped off at the race site along with my Dad and Sister(both running) by my brother in law...who has planned to go immediately after to a place called "Grandma's Biscuits"
6:45: Angie asks us what our favorite Thanksgiving dish is...to take our mind off the fact that we're freezing...Dad and I both have an answer involving gravy.
6:46: Wonder if gravy is a typical pre-half marathon discussion topic.
7:00: Suddenly want a "Grandma's Biscuit
7:08: The race starts! (maybe I'll get warm)
Mile Marker 1: Feel like the 1st mile went by quickly...also I'm amused by the people all around me who wore layers and are now throwing them on the side of the street
Mile 2.5: a Waffle House to my left and a Dunkin Doughnuts to my right taunt me with scents of hash browns, filled doughnuts, and waffles....I must really like high fiber breakfasts...
Mile 2.6: McDonalds follows and I remember the time I finished second in a cheeseburger eating contest...I then mentally curse all the fast food burgers I've ever eaten for adding this extra weight...especially the 13 I ate that day (yes, I'm mad I didn't win)
Mile 4: A bunch of Marines pass me...they're wearing boots and carrying flags...I feel like a pansy
Mile 4.3: Inexplicably, I catch the Marines...I feel less like a pansy
Mile 4:4: Realize that they slowed down because one had to pee...then they all pass me and speed off...I feel like a pansy
Mile 5: Finish a climb up a hill...it's the only one of the day...I feel great!
Mile 6: They're giving away some sort of energy jelly beans...I like free stuff, so I grab em.
Mile 6.1: Wonder how in the world I thought I had gone up the only hill as I stare at the base of what seems like Mt. Kilimanjaro
Mile 6.3: The hill is not my friend and realize that I'm only halfway through.
Mile 7: Finish the hill and remember I want to climb Kilimanjaro one day...so I throw a jelly bean up in the air and catch it in my mouth on the run...secretly I hope someone saw me
Mile 8: high five a giant chicken
Mile 8.5: A little girl whiffs me on a high five...
Mile 9: loving my ipod shuffle..."Viva la Vida" finishes and "Bad Day" starts...draw your own conclusions...I was too tired to do so.
Mile 9.5: have stopped all humorous thoughts
Mile 10: start to hate running...its concept and its practice
Mile 10.5: realize that my shoes were tied too tight...I quickly blame every one of my flaws, all the current pain, and the economic recession on that minor fact.
Mile 11: want to quit...my knees are toast and my ankles feel like toothpicks connecting my legs to my feet.
Mile 11.5: fat guy passes me...I'm impressed
Mile 12: Tom Petty's "The Waiting is the Hardest Part" starts...he's right.
Mile 12.4: see Olympic rings ahead at the finish...holy crap...I just might finish this thing
Mile 12.6: pass the fat guy
Mile 12.7: wonder if the fat guy just thought "hey, that fat guy just passed me"
Mile 13: pass the Olympic rings and see the finish line
Mile 13.1: wobbly legged, sore, but all in all feeling good, finish in 2:14:33
9 minutes later: Dad finishes...60 years old and he just whooped a half marathon...I thank him for inherited good genes/stubbornness/determination
7 minutes after that: Angie finishes...it was her idea...I thank her for the great idea/motivation
10:00 AM: we climb in the car and ride home...someone suggests Krispy Kreme...I don't object :o)
5:00 AM: Wake up feeling sorta cocky
5:30: Eat 2 bagels and drink coffee
5:35: Read that eating a breakfast high in fiber the morning of the a half marathon is a bad idea...
6:00: Understand why it's a bad idea
6:30: Get dropped off at the race site along with my Dad and Sister(both running) by my brother in law...who has planned to go immediately after to a place called "Grandma's Biscuits"
6:45: Angie asks us what our favorite Thanksgiving dish is...to take our mind off the fact that we're freezing...Dad and I both have an answer involving gravy.
6:46: Wonder if gravy is a typical pre-half marathon discussion topic.
7:00: Suddenly want a "Grandma's Biscuit
7:08: The race starts! (maybe I'll get warm)
Mile Marker 1: Feel like the 1st mile went by quickly...also I'm amused by the people all around me who wore layers and are now throwing them on the side of the street
Mile 2.5: a Waffle House to my left and a Dunkin Doughnuts to my right taunt me with scents of hash browns, filled doughnuts, and waffles....I must really like high fiber breakfasts...
Mile 2.6: McDonalds follows and I remember the time I finished second in a cheeseburger eating contest...I then mentally curse all the fast food burgers I've ever eaten for adding this extra weight...especially the 13 I ate that day (yes, I'm mad I didn't win)
Mile 4: A bunch of Marines pass me...they're wearing boots and carrying flags...I feel like a pansy
Mile 4.3: Inexplicably, I catch the Marines...I feel less like a pansy
Mile 4:4: Realize that they slowed down because one had to pee...then they all pass me and speed off...I feel like a pansy
Mile 5: Finish a climb up a hill...it's the only one of the day...I feel great!
Mile 6: They're giving away some sort of energy jelly beans...I like free stuff, so I grab em.
Mile 6.1: Wonder how in the world I thought I had gone up the only hill as I stare at the base of what seems like Mt. Kilimanjaro
Mile 6.3: The hill is not my friend and realize that I'm only halfway through.
Mile 7: Finish the hill and remember I want to climb Kilimanjaro one day...so I throw a jelly bean up in the air and catch it in my mouth on the run...secretly I hope someone saw me
Mile 8: high five a giant chicken
Mile 8.5: A little girl whiffs me on a high five...
Mile 9: loving my ipod shuffle..."Viva la Vida" finishes and "Bad Day" starts...draw your own conclusions...I was too tired to do so.
Mile 9.5: have stopped all humorous thoughts
Mile 10: start to hate running...its concept and its practice
Mile 10.5: realize that my shoes were tied too tight...I quickly blame every one of my flaws, all the current pain, and the economic recession on that minor fact.
Mile 11: want to quit...my knees are toast and my ankles feel like toothpicks connecting my legs to my feet.
Mile 11.5: fat guy passes me...I'm impressed
Mile 12: Tom Petty's "The Waiting is the Hardest Part" starts...he's right.
Mile 12.4: see Olympic rings ahead at the finish...holy crap...I just might finish this thing
Mile 12.6: pass the fat guy
Mile 12.7: wonder if the fat guy just thought "hey, that fat guy just passed me"
Mile 13: pass the Olympic rings and see the finish line
Mile 13.1: wobbly legged, sore, but all in all feeling good, finish in 2:14:33
9 minutes later: Dad finishes...60 years old and he just whooped a half marathon...I thank him for inherited good genes/stubbornness/determination
7 minutes after that: Angie finishes...it was her idea...I thank her for the great idea/motivation
10:00 AM: we climb in the car and ride home...someone suggests Krispy Kreme...I don't object :o)
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1 comment:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. I'm sitting in the Kansas City airport and I'm pretty sure I got a few strange looks due to the laughter. Glad you survived.
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