Friday, March 26, 2010

A Time To Listen

I have days when I feel like valuable thoughts and reflections drop from my mind like torrential rain. Then I have days when I feel like valuable thoughts and reflections are meant for someone else entirely...that profoundity and substance are my antonyms and I'd do well to just get through the day without thinking. For several months I've been mired in a season marked by the latter.

My default settings place a lot value on being able to share my thoughts. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it's sure true. Whenever I have nothing to share, when I have no observations (whether humorous or insightful) or musings, I feel like somehow I'm falling behind in life. Part of it could be that I've spent so much time over the years in preaching roles. From the time I was 18 until I was 25 I was preaching on a regular basis, so I've had plenty of moments where, if I didn't have anything to share, then I actually was failing at my job (as I saw it at least).

Now, I feel a bit different. I've not had much to share, and I think it's because God has been telling me to just listen instead of comment. The past two months I've witnessed a great deal of tragedy. In February, I spent a few days in Haiti, which still had fresh wounds from the January earthquake. Nearly a quarter million people died, and a million displaced as a result of 40 horrific seconds. On March 12, John Hamilton, a friend and NMSI affiliate died from a blood clot after a few weeks of battling heart issues. John was only in his early fifties and left behind his wife and 4 year old daughter. Less than a week later, Kylee Boden, another good friend and NMSI affiliate passed away due to complications during childbirth (their baby boy is healthy). Kylee leaves behind her husband, Matt and their 4 children.

Instead of sharing words to encourage others or make sense of it all, I've felt God saying to just listen. Listen to how his people are reacting to their heartbreak...see the Haitian churches rise up, witness believers gather around the Hamiltons to love and care for them...listen to Matt Boden and his amazing resolve and trust.

So my heart aches for hurts deeply for Matt and Alyona who lost their spouses, and it cries for Sasha, Seth, Lydia, Sarai, and baby Caleb who have all lost a loving, Godly a world with a dearth of good parents. For now, though, I'll just listen and drawing conclusions or tying up loose ends.