Contradictions

Today I got in an elevator that displayed a small sign saying "Take the Stairs!" This message was accompanied by a stick figure energetically hoofing up a flight. I immediately wondered if the elevator was encouraging me to take the stairs because it was broken. (it was not)

Cigarette ads in magazines have pictures of people doing something like lighting up while having a cookout on a rooftop with a pool. Then has a tagline like: "Newport Cigarettes, Alive With Pleasure!" Followed by a disclaimer that essentially says "consistent use of these products will eventually kill you." Well, at least you'll be "Alive With Pleasure" until you die young.

When I sold lawn and garden equipment at Sears, we were encouraged to pitch the excellent quality of the product (they really did sell great stuff). However, management only cared whether or not we sold extended warranties. Basically, I was supposed to say "Buy this mower and it won't tear up on you...except when it does...and that might be on a frequent basis." (my response to the bosses was always 'how can I sell a warranty if I don't sell a mower first'...it seemed to baffled them.)

Two months ago I stood in the Atlanta airport holding a boarding pass for a flight from Atlanta to Knoxville. Due to a few absurd circumstances, the customer service agent said: "You are not flying today." So I had a had a document that told Delta "Matt Hickman gets seat 27C on flight 1732 to Knoxville." But Delta said "Matt Hickman cannot have seat 27C on flight 1732 to Knoxville." (The boarding pass is now a $200 bookmark)

Seriously, I urge you avoid Delta if at all possible. Their policies defy logic and their customer service department has all the answers to questions you don't ask. Oh, and I'm excited to go home and see everyone tomorrow...I'll arrive on an 11:00 flight from Atlanta...on Delta.