I figure that since I'm now officially closer to 30 than I am 20 (really, that seems weird to say) I should have some nuggets of wisdom to share with the world. So here goes...26 thoughts for 26 years!
(by the way, some are serious, some...not so much)
1. The more places I go, the more I see the merits of home.
2a. If you ever call a restaurant to make reservations and upon taking your reservations, the person on the other end chuckles and says "um...sure...yea, we can do that," beware of said restaurant.
2b. If the restaurant is called "Squatters" you should have probably known better in the first place.
3. The life of a Pelican > all other birds. Think about it...you live at the beach, all the seafood you can eat, you float nicely, you're chill, and you can sit around and make jokes about idiot seagulls with your other pelican buddies.
4. We should all aspire to be as loyal as our dogs.
5. Standing on the steps of the courthouse in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and saying "Get over it guys, the Bear died 25 years ago," is taking your life into your own hands.
6. Never take your family or friends for granted. Appreciate every moment you're together.
7. If you can't dance...do it anyway...nobody cares.
9. "Choose what you want most over what you want now."
10. Two South Korean boys, 1 from Senegal, one from Jersey, and one from Seymour, Tennessee can make a fine offensive line.
11. Going to Wal-Mart or Waffle House at 3:30AM is completely acceptable and needs no explanation
12. Some people are fat...and that's ok.
13. When stuck in a Kenyan bathroom and you have to decide between a dollar and a bank statement, go with the bank statement...especially if your dollar consists of 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel (buh-dum-cha!)
14. Never attempt to jump into a garbage truck...you'll just get a concussion and lose a lot of blood.
15. The ocean heals and the stars demand your awe.
16. Church buildings are no more than stone, steel, and wood just like any other building. The ocean and stars are God expressing himself to us...man made things are our efforts to capture him. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not nature...God in the raw.
17. If you stumble across Roman ruins in the middle of the night, climbing the fence to enter is not necessary. The gate is probably open anyway.
18. Fat guys can run half marathons.
19. Japanese cars are the most reliable, American cars have the best air conditioners, and European cars are for true car lovers.
20. A half a box of croutons can occasionally pass as lunch (though this may have been the low point of my bachelorhood).
21. If there's no snow on Christmas...and there are kids around that want to go sledding...finding a hill, a kiddie pool, and flinging the kids down the hill in the kiddie pool is an adequate substitution.
22. Take care of the outcasts, the lonely, the ones that are constantly the butt of jokes...listen, care, and respect.
23. Safari ants+your pants=exactly what you'd expect.
24. There is no greater entertainment value than "Bring Your Own Weapon Night" at $5 semi-pro wrestling. A broken neon sign. A flying porcelin sink. Few teeth. Many bald eagle tattoos. I started a "loser cuts the mullet" chant. High comedy, great entertainment.
25. Seeking God and trying to understand him is the wisest thing a man can do.
26. Thinking you've figured him out is the most foolish.
Thanks for reading...here's to having better things to share at 27
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